How to Throw One Liners in LA

Rule #1:  Get CREATIVE!

Men here are...different.  And I like it!  They are, for the most part, near opposite from the investment bankers, traders, and conglomerate advertising guys who flock to the Big Apple.  LA guys are writers, actors, producers, niche advertising gurus, web entrepreneurs, studio execs (New York I-bankers cloaked in liberal beliefs), film editors, film/music video/commercial directors, animators, the list goes on...  We may be on the Left Coast but these guys definitely think, in large part, with their right brain.  So, it stands to reason that their pick-up lines will reflect accordingly.  And they do.  I speak from almost two years of experience.

Case in Point:  Just last week, a sweet, somewhat shy gent with icy blue eyes and jet-black hair who could have been the love child of Courtney Cox and Steve Buscemi (think about that for a moment) slouched over to me at a local bar- most likely on a bet- looking hesitantly determined to complete his mission.  He opened his black military style jacket and revealed an actual solid steel combination lock, much like the one pictured above.  It measured a whopping 6 inches in diameter.  No joke.  This thing belonged on the door of a bank safe, not hovering above this impish man's heart.  His goal in sight, he proceeded without a lick of confidence, "I think you may know the combination?"  Perhaps phrased as a statement his tactic would have been met with a better reception.  But it wasn't.

Now, I've heard variations of that cliche approach thrown around before both sarcastically and in earnest... but to Mr. Combination's credit, nobody has ever included a PROP in their performance of that particular one-liner until now.  To me, it showed real innovation and thus deserved some credit.  We chatted for a bit and I decided to bite for what I imagined was the second part of his bet.  He requested that I go over to his friend and ask for an autograph.  You see, the friend looked strikingly similar to James Cameron.  In fact, I thought he was James Cameron.  So, I did the love child of Cox/Buscemi one better.  I strutted over to the James Cameron doppelganger, opened my arms wide and proclaimed in mock tone, "I'm the KING OF THE WORLD!"

When approached creatively, one must respond accordingly.