WHEELS

LA goes EVERYWHERE on wheels.  Due to the sprawling nature of the city and the lack of a viable public transportation system, most everyone needs a car or some other alternative way to get around besides their own two legs.  But people seem to take it to a whole new level out here...

My neighbor regularly carries his groceries home via skateboard, and last week I passed a girl riding a unicycle...with a backpack on...while listening to an iPod.  I watched a guy strap two wheels onto each of his sneaker-covered feet with what appeared to be rubber bands and navigate the busy sidewalks of Main Street, Santa Monica with graceful control on a Sunday afternoon- no small endeavor considering hundreds of people flock to the town's local farmers market every weekend.  There are long board skateboards, both motorized and foot-powered (speaking from experience, the motorized version is a hoot with speeds that reach 30 mph), adult-sized tricycles, beach cruisers (of which I am the proud owner of a powder blue Raleigh) both with surfboard racks and without, hundreds of road bikes supporting riders in head to toe racing attire who traverse the streets and the strand from daybreak to sunset, roller blades for those still living in the 90's, skateboards that claim their own skate parks every few hundred yards, motorcycles of all sizes, mopeds, VESPAS (I really want one!), Segways- otherwise known as People Movers- which are very popular among the outdoor mall security crowd and- based on the photo above- with a handful of hipsters on Abbot Kinney, those small cars without doors that look like supped-up golf carts (name anyone?), and of course my arch nemesis...the SMART car, which I consider more akin to the golf cart than an actual highway vehicle, contrary to what you will see- or not see- on The 10.

Granted I spend the majority of my time in Santa Monica and Venice, and it is here that I have spotted most of the wheels listed above.  But in a city where the car is king, it's kinda cool that so many people find such innovative ways to get around. Albeit the unicycle is pretty out there, lady.  This ain't the circus, no matter who or what you might see on the Venice boardwalk.  Might I dare go so far as to say that New York City, despite its ever-growing crowds, might benefit by taking its cue from Los Angeles on the WHEELS issue.  It seems my loyalties might be shifting after all... 

*the photo above was taken on Abbot Kinney in Venice and excerpted from the LA Times Fashion section*

If anybody has other interesting/funny photos of people on WHEELS in LA, send them to me at likebutterontoast@gmail.com and I'll post them!

Santa Monica: Yard Sale Mecca

I reside in Santa Monica. So does Oliver Stone, Calista Flockhart, and Harrison Ford...from what I'm told. It's one of the higher end neighborhoods in Los Angeles. No freestanding house sells for under a million, even in this crappy economy. Check out the LA Times Real Estate section for proof. It's kind of depressing. Which is why it was beyond jarring to find 50 or so signs popping up on street corners across Santa Monica ever Friday evening advertising YARD SALES and GARAGE SALES for the upcoming weekend. Now, I have NOTHING against a good old fashioned garage sale to relinquish unnecessary baggage when one is about to move or move on from a relationship that went sour. I've been known to host a ceremonious burning, myself, from time to time. It's good for the soul to purge. And I'm a huge proponent of second hand furniture; there's just something more to a piece when history comes attached to it. Not to mention how well it fits into the whole environmentally aware movement. And we all know how important it is to at least appear that you are doing your part, especially in LA where one risks being blackballed for not recycling plastic. But these yard sales are for the most part shameful; full of old sweaters, soiled concert t-shirts, beat-up children's toys, seventies era knick-knacks, novelty salt and pepper shakers, Clint Eastwood paraphernalia and framed movie posters of hits like The Double 0 Kid starring Corey Haim. Exactly. Albeit, sometimes a beach cruiser or an actual piece of furniture does make it into the mix...sometimes.

Beginning Saturday morning at 8am -7am for the truly motivated- hundreds of residents set up shop and reside at their post until Sunday evening. One innovative woman employed Vitamin Water and lemonade as an added incentive to lure would-be shoppers into her nest of junk; not unlike the real estate agents back East who were known to throw in an actual car with the purchase of a new home to sweeten the deal.

Here's my question: Where does all of this crap keep coming from? And hasn't anyone out here ever heard of the garbage? In NYC, there's simply no room to keep anything that does not have a vital, current, weekly if not daily use. One gets used to throwing out or selling on eBay what is superfluous and simply living with less. Have some standards good people of Los Angeles (or at least Santa Monica), even Good Will employs the "If you wouldn't give it to your best friend, then don't give it to us" rule. Leave the holey underwear in the giant black bin in the alley.

Although who am I to judge? As the saying goes, "One mans garbage is another man's treasure." Only in LA...

Listen to Eric Estrada: "Buckle Up!"

As seen on the side of the 101 Freeway in downtown LA.
1983: the last time it was cool to be a member of the California Highway Patrol, otherwise known as..."CHIPS"!  Coincidentally, it was also the last time their uniforms were updated...

It's Like the W Hotel...but for DOGS...

Okay, so I had to use NYC citysearch to make sure that the Big Apple didn't have one of these. We don't. I'm sure it's coming soon...but must it look this similar to a "people hotel"? I don't think Rover reviews the thread count before checking in, but you never know...this is LA...

Check out the "D" hotel on line, "A Luxury Resort and Spa for the Distinguished Dog." (http://www.dpethotels.com) You will not be disappointed.

LA Thugs Launch Plums at Moving Cars

At first take, I thought I was being ambushed by a small time, Westside street gang while making my way onto the on-ramp of the dreaded 10 Freeway. (Freeways in Los Angeles = Interstates in the Tri-State Area) "The 10" is the only major highway that runs East/West across the city. Translation: it's a parking lot 99% of the time. City planning here is an entirely other story...and with the state budget deficit increasing by $2 billion per day to simply maintain the status quo, I don't foresee any major infrastructure improvements being undertaken in the near or distant future.

Anyway while talking via headset to a fellow tri-state transplant, what seemed to be a very large bullet or missile shot into my windshield at warp speed causing me to slam on the brakes, duck, yell, and shiver with fear while crouching below my steering wheel. It was to be my first brush with the gang activity I so often hear about (Crips, Bloods, Tupac...) NOTE: I was going to post a link here to a site about LA gangs that I've reviewed before (for my own protection) but BOTTOM LINE, I'm too paranoid to do it.

At my frenetic reaction, the fellow transplant asked me if everything was okay. "Sure, if by okay you mean ABOUT TO MEET MY MAKER!" I said. I pulled over to the side of the road (a very dangerous decision seeing as though I was now in the middle of the on-ramp to "The 10") and nervously took a closer look at my windshield. After further inspection, I realized that the glass was intact and the missile was in fact a juicy, splattered piece of fruit. A PLUM. They're in season now and, I admit, very tasty. LA street gangs are now using fruit as weaponry! (Either that or it fell from a nearby plum tree- as if plum trees really exist...) No need to fret brother and sister Angelenos, I've already alerted the LA Times via Twitter. I assume they will be reporting on it soon. If not, feel free to forward this posting to your loved ones. You never know whose life you might save.

In case you are really Out-Of-The-Know, here is a link to what a plum looks like, should you come across one (the perp that met its doom on my windshield was of the red skin and light-yellow flesh persuasion): http://www.uga.edu/fruit/plum.html

Angeleno Canines

A Bulldog on a Bench...Main Street, Santa Monica
Oscar, Manhattan Beach

YogaWorks' Take on the New Year's Resolution

Having domesticated in Santa Monica for almost a year now, I have fallen prey to the most obvious of cliches...I'm a YOGI. I love, love, love YOGA. Those who know me have listened to me drone on for periods of 30 minutes or more about the benefits of a regular practice, those both seen and unseen. Clearly I embrace the LA yogi stereotype freely and without reservation, in fact with pride. To that end I would like to share with you an email that I received from my yoga studio, YogaWorks (which has locations in NYC as well as the West Coast) regarding New Year's Resolutions that I found particularly insightful. Enjoy!


"RESOLUTION

"Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong".
- ELLA FITZGERALD

We all know the old cliche about resolutions - you quit smoking on Jan. 1 and are back off the wagon by Jan. 2. The type of resolutions that crash and burn before even getting close to Valentine's Day could be described as "January Penance" or "Stuff I'm making myself do because I'm bad." First of all, you are not bad. Everyone else just spent a month eating sugar cookies and watching movies in their pajamas instead of going to the gym, but it's been dark and cold and it's okay to cut yourself some slack. If you want your annual goals to be successful, it's best to choose them from a place of kindness.

When you think about changes you would like to see in your life over the next year, keep in mind your deepest values and focus on dreams that get you excited. For example, say that spending more time with your family feels important to you. You may love the idea of having a group dinner, but cooking can feel like torture after a long day of work. Rather than drumming up a precise schedule of meals and ingredients that you need to stick to (does not sound fun), instead make your resolution simply getting more excited about cooking. That might involve pouring over beloved old cookbooks, exploring new ones, and thrilling over the nurturing, sensual possibilities of providing beautiful meals as an act of love.

For many of us, this past fall was a tough time, and the last thing we need is to be even harder on ourselves at the start of a new year. By choosing resolutions that will bring more of what your soul personally craves, whether it's spiritual connection, warmth, passion, adventure, or healing, your success is inevitable."

-excerpted from YogaWorks LA News - Jan/Feb 2009